I'm three years older than Pixar and with far less accomplished (unless it's a contest of who has made the most people cry.) On that note, I'm 4 years older than the contact lens and a whopping 5 years older than crack, though we've caused similar devastation if you find the average.
Pluto is no longer a planet. Does this mean Disney's Pluto is not really a dog? Are we supposed to live our lives questioning everything we've ever known? Now I know what Christopher Columbus's friends must have felt like.
I can't make it through more than 5 minutes on MTV, even when I'm drinking.
Mountain Dew has like 5 flavors. When I was a kid, it came in one: "Mountain Dew."
You know how they make you read Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History of Time" in high school because it's a classic? Well, I was in kindergarten when it was published. That must make me a classic too. By classic I mean, OLD.
The high school kids at the deli call me "maam" and the old ass men at the gym try to call me on the phone.
Back to the Future 2 is 20 years old. And the "future" they are referring to? Only 5 years away.
Taylor Hanson of Hanson fame has FOUR children. Yes, four. And that young one they subbed in for the drum machine? He has a little nugget too.
I'd be willing to give my ID to someone under 21 who looks like me-with the condition they have to give me theirs. Also, when I get carded, I look all around to make sure someone's watching.
This was the pinnacle of science when I was young:
Sigh.
















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