Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Smile.

                                                   "Late night traffic jams get a face."

Cinematic Moment:  "CM Illustrated Week" Postcard #10

On days I would commute back upstate from work to the house in the country, I took the bus.  The ride was almost 2 hours each way if you count traffic and stops, which was a blessing in the morning for a long nap, but a curse on the way back when all you wanted to do was be home.  During those days, I rarely saw my house in the daylight.  

Around the time of this sketch, I had put in my 2 weeks notice and was beginning to really pay attention to the things I had gotten so accustomed to seeing that I'd stopped looking at.  I wanted to ingrain them in my memory so I wouldn't forget this phase of my life.  The triangle shaped glass office building we passed everyday, going over the Hudson in the morning with it's sinister haze, the Greek men in my office who had my bagel ready to go before I even ordered it and always made me laugh.  Even something as mundane as the red tail lights on the cars in front of the bus became intriguing to me.  They gained a sort of alien facial structure.  It struck me as something I wanted to remember.  Even now, when I'm on the road I search for faces in the red lights.


18 comments:

Delaney the Undead said...

I think Im PMSing. this made me cry?

Dee has officially lost it...

Angel Ariel said...

I undoubtedly love this sketch.
My most pleasing time of the day is when I'm stuck in traffic with nothing but the haze of red tail lights fogging my view. It really dose give you time to ponder.

Bring Your Daughter to the Slaughter said...

Traffic goes either way with me. Sometimes Ill be in a mad rush to get home and chill, but every other time Ill enjoy it. Well, I enjoy watching the enraged drivers try and cheat their way out of sitting for hours.

NerfHerdingNinja said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
NerfHerdingNinja said...

Holy hell Dee do you need a hug?! LOL I like looking for faces in the back of cars the most friendly is the new VW bug and the strangest is a SCION if it's green it looks like Frankenstein. Other than Dee's strange breakdown how's everyone doing?

-SAM

Delaney the Undead said...

lol i didnt cry outof sadness...i cried because its been an emotional day and I thought it was kinda beautiful.

Am i the onlyone who go twhy t his post was beautiful?

jupitersinclair said...

I see faces in everything.Tail light.Hmmm.I'll have to check them out.

I kind of miss working outside of home because I don't have the long bus ride anymore.There was just so much to observe as a passenger. Plus, I got caught up on reading, knitting,sleeping,uninterrupted thinking...

NerfHerdingNinja said...

I love you, Dee!!! :D

Delaney the Undead said...

I love you, Sam!! :)

NerfHerdingNinja said...

yay! Best internet friends and we have Chonny to thank!

Also Chonny I know you're missing your boyfriance terribly so in the spirit of love here's a list of 30 special things a man can do to let you know he cares..


1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.


2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).


3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.


4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she is, say "you better be." Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.


5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault.

This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.


6. Recognize the small things, as they usually mean the most. Then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because jewelry is for pussies.


7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure she's looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words "Fuck you" and grab the other girl's ass.

Girls love competition.


8. Tell her you're taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. Then take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset, tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. Then drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that, lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because I can.
"

9. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick." Women love those special nicknames.


10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.


11. Warm her up when she's cold...and not by giving her our jacket, because then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop complaining about the cold right now, you're going to be complaining about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.


12. Take her to a party. When you get there, she'll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the party is dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you all night.


13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny...why shouldn't girls?

14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes, then jump up and scream in her ear. Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things.


15. Buy her a cake and tell her you baked it. Then "accidentally" trip her so she drops it on the ground. Act pissed because it took you forever to make and tell her if she didn't want it she should have just said so. If she ever brings up you not doing anything nice for her, bring up the cake.


16. If you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self-confidence, then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.


17. Every time you're in her house, steal one of her shoes, earrings or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way, she'll go crazy.


18. Take her out to dinner. Right when she's about to order, interrupt and say "no, she's not hungry." Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.


19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then punch her in the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.


20. Give her one of your t-shirts, and make sure it has your smell on it (but not a sexy cologne smell...a bad smell. You know what I'm talking about).


21. When it's raining, keep asking her if she's crying. She'll say "no, it's just the rain." Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying. Girls like a tough man.


22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.


23. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. This way she'll think you're mysterious.


24. Remember her birthday, but don't get her anything. Teach her that material objects aren't important. The only thing that's important is that she keeps you happy, and your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.


25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she's coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can.


26. If she's mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now she'll be really excited, then don't call.


27. When your in bed cuddling, fart, then hold her head under the covers. Girls love sharing personal and private things.


28. Open the door for her (pretending like your a gentleman), Then as she walks by, smack her ass and push her through the door. This will create cognitive dissonance in her.


29. Make her a nice dinner, then pass her a salt shaker which you have unscrewed the cap of. Then as she pours salt all over her dinner, point and laugh at her.

Keep eating, occasionally looking up and chuckling at her.


30. 'Accidentally' call her sisters name out in bed. Then say, "Thats what I'm calling you from now on.
"

bwahahahahaha >;)

Chonny Chondra said...

HAHAH Nerf these are awesome. I especially like nmber 11:)

Dee Sorry about making you cry:( You should get some ice cream and call it a day.

Thanks Angel!

BYDTTS-Me too! Those dicks who drive in the fire lanes...ugh. I make it my personal mission not to let them in ahead of me;)

Jupiter--I totally want to learn how to knit. I just can't adopt any more hobbies yet. That would mean I'd have to give up pickling or something;)

Delaney the Undead said...

lol...dear chonny,

it was not a bad cry.

-meeeeeee

(ps...I can not eat ice cream as I am trying to be skinny again. All of you skinny people should eat some on my behalf though.)

Communication Breakdown said...

I love being an asshole to assholes. I will tailgate the person in front of me if it keeps some jerk from recklessly swirving into my lane and cutting me off.

Lance Pelletier said...

And that's safe....... how?

Delaney the Undead said...

boooo communication breakdown!

im anti- assholes.

Nicole said...

I don't drive, but this post has made me realize I should pay attention to traffic more often...

Communication Breakdown said...

Oh, it's very safe. Just pay attention.

jupitersinclair said...

I knoooowwww. I have Adult ADD and every day, I'm like, "I want to learn how to *insert new time sucker here*", and I really don't have the time.

I learned how to knit a few years ago so I could recycle old videotapes. I think Bjork could totally pull off the dress I'm making.