Cinematic Moment: Progressive (but kind of awful.)
Over the weekend, I picked up one of my favorite print publications, Bust Magazine. I love this magazine, I really do. Spunky bitching, resourceful trip planning, great storytelling and cheapo crafts on a budget all in one place? Sign me up. I read it religiously and highly recommend it to any intelligent man or woman out there.
That said, I have a confession about the December issue: It scared the shit out of me. No, it wasn't the tutorial on how to knit your own fab garments or the amazing Christmas gift lists from editors and staff members (including a yellow bicycle that made me physically drool on the pages. Seriously, now they're stuck together.) It was a little sub-section for DIYers facing life events. The portion about planning your own budget wedding? Cool! Even the blurbs about giving birth in your living room in a baby pool were at least...understandable (though images of sitting in the aftermath of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre in a plastic pool shaped like a turtle is not the imagery I was wishing for this holiday season.) I mean, who wouldn't want to bring a child into the world in the privacy of her own home, without 15 doctors and nurses staring at your lady parts and poking you with sharp things. Plus, you could order in Chinese food afterwards. Sweet and Sour Chicken and placenta all in one place.
The article that this CM is about, is the section where Bust suggests you might want to handle the burial of a friend or family member yourself. And I don't mean picking out the right poem or the outfit you know they'd want to rest in peace in--I mean, literally cleaning and burying this person on your own time. Now, I like to think I have a pretty open mind. I also have so much love in my heart for those close to me that I'm overwhelmed with emotion even considering them being gone. But the recommendation to pick your loved ones body up from the morgue in, you know, your Honda Civic (because it's legal in most states to transport a body without a hearse) and schlep them back to the your house for preparations (AKA the apartment you share with a roommate and an overly curious cat) just seems a bit extreme. It even goes so far as to suggest a website where you can learn to "clean and prepare" the body without embalming and either buy your own casket online or, hell, who needs a casket, right?
I certainly have mixed feelings about what I want when I pass, but the idea of cremation and donating my organs is winning the battle at the moment. I also don't necessarily see a problem with burying a body in the natural soil (where lawful.) But the article made it death seem like baking a cake for a friend or picking someone up from the airport, not really addressing the emotional and lasting repercussions such a burial process might have in a Western frame of mind. Not to mention the truly horrifying things that undertakers see daily in their lines of work, which may not be the last way you want to view your beloved grandmother. Just one girl's opinion, but this is a CM I want no part of.
7 comments:
Super. Grandmas death wasn't emotionally scarring enough. So you know what we should do? Lets go pick up her cold rotting corpse(not to mention nude) and throw her ridged ass in the wet room give her a good hose down- dress her in whatever is REALLY close by and bury her in the backyard next to Fluffers. Awesome. Who's hungry?
Welcome back Mrs. Wifey!
Apparently SOMEONE isn't a fan of Tom Petty's Mary Jane's Last Dance video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WdTYcnUBADw
Are they serious?!
No, I'm with you on this one. Let someone I don't know from Adam take care of me and my loved ones, put us in silk-lined boxes or send our ashes home in an outrageously over-priced vase...but I'm not doing this myself. Unh-uh.
There was seriously an article on this??? *shudders* I am pretty sure I would snap if I attempted to complete the burial process myself. I mean like full blown strait jacket white padded cell snap...ugh
Sooo....
From the perspective of someone who does the birthing thing at home all alone & seeks to have as much self-sufficiency in my life, I can tell you that to people (like myself) who truly live the DIY Ethic, birth & death are very sacred things and both are extremely personal.I won't get into all the spiritual drivel but I'm sure you can imagine some of the mindset behind some of it. In our own little collection of books on "DIY" type stuff, there's some nice info about home burials & home cremation. I remember the first time I came across it in one of the books,I was really relieved to have it so I don't have to wing-it for the time comes & I can be clear about my own death wishes.Obviously, if I didn't have loved ones on the same page as me, I wouldn't expect them to handle it themselves but so far, those who matter are cool w/ it & want the same for themselves
And Bust is an awesome mag :)
Hey Jupiter (getting my Tori Amos on) agreed - I think we benefit from dealing with our dead loved ones ourselves...I am so glad I got to see both my Nanas in that state - it made it real for me. However, a funeral is really emotional, so you need to know that you won't fold (as I did).
Hurrah for the home birthing thing - wish I could have done that, but twins - second twin breech, I didn't have a choice. Bring on the 15 observers. Ick!
Happy marriage, Chondra!
Kandilula, Definitely the closeness to death,I think it brings a lot of closure & healing to it. So far, our plan is no proper & somber funerals, just large gatherings with family & friends. I think it'll be easier to lose it & find the support in that kind of setting but who knows.I think that people now (at funerals & w/ death in general) have a tendency to suppress a lot of emotion & strive to act dignified & reserved instead of embracing the feelings.I'd rather get wrapped up in the emotion when I feel it instead of push it away.
Home birthing is awesome, especially after having bad experiences with hospital births. Birth for my twins was hospital,too ,with all those on-lookers and yeah..it was just blah. My hubby was the baby-catcher after that :)
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