Cinematic Moment: Two stupid dogs.
Barbara has taken two topples down the icy stairs this week with no injury, which, at a whopping 10 pounds is like falling off a 5 story building and walking away unscathed. Thursday afternoon I had to remove her from the FedEx man's shoe as she attempted to attack him on his walk back to the truck. I guess she should be rewarded for letting him deliver the presents first. Yesterday, she survived the 8 year old niece's toting her around like the newest Dora the Explorer doll.
Benson chooses to live on the edge by experimenting with exotic food options. This weekend alone he has ingested a red bean Kit Kat from Japan, a bag of airline chocolate chip cookies he stole from my laptop bag, a carton of candy cigarettes from the boyfrianceband's Christmas stocking and quite possibly our second Apple TV remote. I thought I misplaced the first one, but the latest disappearance from the only coffee table he can reach has me wondering. I had to pry the last candy cigarette from his locked jaw as he tried to run from me with it like a true addict.
I'm beginning to think my dogs are bred with wolverine and garbage disposal. You know, it's not like we never taught them to behave like civilized doggie beings. They have organic food with flax seed oil, choke-proof collars, wonderful-looking fancy toys. Yet still they continue to play ONLY with the Christmas ones, as if they received the ripped-to-shreds-Santa-plus a decade ago and simply haven't gotten another toy since (cue sad violins.) We brush their teeth with poultry toothpaste and give them delicious treats when they do pretty much anything mildly entertaining. They even have health insurance, dammit! So how is it that we raised these hoodlums? Is there no reward for good doggie parenting? Pray for our children people, pray hard.
PS. Happy Holidays from LOCM, Chonny and her silly silly pups--xxx
